“BE KIND TO YOUR CHILDREN, FOR THEY ARE THE ONES WHO WILL CHOOSE YOUR NURSING HOME.” (Paraphrased from a Bumbersticker.)

As people pass through the “The Golden Years” (often defined as “after 60”) and into the “Twilight Years” (the final years of life), having an already prepared “game plan” in-hand  can go a long way towards making this time more accommodating – and not just for the parents but for their children as well.  Once aging parents need care, without such pre-planning, the “family dynamics” that often occur at best will only strain parent-children and/or children-children relations, and at worst initiate WWIII.

Most people would agree that having a “Last Will and Testament” is probably a good idea.  But way before this legal document’s maturation, other issues - such as long term financial planning (to include Long Term Care insurance) and Power of Attorney (POA) –  are deserving of adequate attention as well.  Although most people would agree that the costs associated with Long Term Care (LTC) are on the high side, they would also agree that the costs will only go higher.  And while the cost-factor alone can be daunting, there will also be the the situation’s emotional aspects to deal with.  Unfortunately, while the lack of pre-planning may prove financially straining (and in some cases catistrophic), its lack could also contribute highly towards physical and mental exhaustion.  Pre-planning with a Long Term Care Insurance Specialist (LTCIS) should go a long way towards making the “Twilight Years” much more managable. 

Additionally, the financial aspects – the costs as well as the funds that will be available to cover the costs - should be openly communicated amongst the children; thereby, enabling each to not only develop a realistic appraisal of the situation, but also to allow for a sense of a certain level of equity.  And while all involved should feel able to openly comminicate input and ideas, in the event that a parent(s) becomes unable to speak or act on their own behalf, it is important to establish “which” indiviual (POA?) will have the final say.

The second part of the pre-prepared game plan is installing a POA.  In the simplest of terms, a POA is able to make decisions (medical and/or financial) in a person’s sted; but the “person” ultimately has the final say (when/if able to).  Although generic POA forms are readily available, distinctions (Medical POA, Financial POA, Durable POA, etc.) and limitations are often not so easily comprehended.  An Elder-Law Attorney would be able to provide a thorough understanding of POA limitations, as well as distinctions between POA and Guardianship.  Although the two are oftentime confused by family members (laymen), the two are not interchangeble.  While the POA would be a signed “agreement” between the two individuals – the “principal” and the “agent(s)”, Guardianship requires court action, is (more) binding and generally speaking, is much more costly.    

Bill Santa Cruz,

Assisted ElderCare Placements, (520) 870-5460, www.AECplacements.com